How to Set Goals That You Can Actually Control

 

Setting goals can be fun—or it can be a big challenge. Should you set goals that you know you can achieve, or make a season goal that's going to be a huge stretch? As an athlete, you likely want to win games or excel in competitions, but you also know that you can't control how the rest of your team plays, or which competitors show up on the start line. Does that mean you shouldn't set that goal?

The best way to achieve goals is to focus on the things that you can control, while striving for the big outcome goal that you may or may not achieve. And here, TrueSport Expert Betsy Butterick, a coach and communication specialist, is explaining the best way to break a big goal down into bite-sized, controllable chunks to give yourself the best chance for success.

Why Does Control Matter to Setting Goals?

"It's important to understand what's within your control and what isn't," says Butterick. "In youth sport, we're seeing athletes who are struggling with their mental health: There is a rise in anxiety and depression, and even an increase in suicide among young people. And we've seen that athletes who find themselves in crisis are often also disproportionately focused on elements that are outside of their control. Their goals are based on things that they can't actually control."

She explains that for athletes to stay goal-focused in a healthy way, it's important to understand what is within their control and focus on that. "We can help athletes to feel more grounded or safe in whatever challenge they find themselves in by having conversations that allow them to identify what they can actively influence or control—even when a situation is largely outside of their control," she says. It's okay to have big goals, but it's important to understand to what extent you can actually control the outcome of that goal.

Define Success in a New Way

If an athlete shifts to focusing on things that are within their control, it can change what success looks like. You may have assumed that success could only be measured in total numbers of goals, points, or wins, but success can be redefined to include the controllable factors that could lead to those bigger outcomes. "If we only measure success as whether you did or did not attain a set goal, that can be constricting," says Butterick. "I often get athletes to think about what they can expect to see or feel in pursuit of their goal, and what needs to be true in order for them to give themselves the greatest opportunity to meet this goal. This helps us redefine what success looks like—it's about the becoming, rather than the specific outcome."

Butterick's own high school career is an example of this thought process. As a young basketball player, she grew up dreaming of playing basketball at Stanford University. "That was where I wanted to go to school. I applied twice. I didn't get in. But doing the work in high school, both academically and on the basketball team, as if I would get that opportunity to play for Stanford, enabled me to earn a Division I scholarship in basketball and get school paid for by sport. I didn't achieve the goal of playing at Stanford, but I did a lot of really great work that led to an opportunity for success in a different way."

How Far Should You Stretch Your Goal?

As Butterick's example shows, a goal shouldn't be something you know you can achieve, it should be something that would be a stretch for you. Butterick suggests asking yourself: What would be uncomfortably exciting? "We need to experience that discomfort in order for growth to occur, but it needs to also feel exciting, because that's the motivating piece that keeps us going when things get uncomfortable," she says.

What's Outside Your Boat?

Once you have your big goal, it's time to break it down into controllable components. "I like to tell the story of Charlie Jones, an NFL broadcaster who was brought on to cover the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta, Georgia," Butterick says. "Jones was assigned to cover rowing, kayaking, and canoeing, which weren't sports that many people were watching back then. He researched the sports extensively and started asking the athletes really specific questions about things like how their lane assignment would affect their race strategy, or what they would do if the wind shifted mid-race. And what he found is that all the athletes had the same response, and that response was 'That's outside my boat.'"

"Jones came to realize that this population of athletes had gotten very specific about what they could control and where they were willing to invest their time, energy, and effort," she explains. "They learned to ignore what was outside of their boat, and therefore outside of their control."