8 Easy Tips for Talking to Young Athletes about Physical Differences

 

From a young age, it’s important that your athlete understands that not all kids are going to look the same or have the same abilities. This diversity can be tricky for very young athletes to grasp, but starting the conversation about physical differences early can help your athlete develop into a mature, caring individual.

Here, three TrueSport Experts—Michele LaBotz, sports medicine physician; Nadia Kyba, MSW, President of Now What Facilitation; and Kevin Chapman, PhD, clinical psychologist and founder of The Kentucky Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders, share a few easy tips to help you navigate a thoughtful conversation around physical difference.

1. Teach kids early that everyone is unique

"The biggest thing a parent can teach a young person is that there are individual differences between everyone, and those differences don’t mean one person is better than someone else,” says Chapman. “It might help to start by explaining that everyone's output on the field is different because we’re all different. Kids need to know that there's going to be a wide range of physical ability within their teams.”

2. Teach them to find common ground

“Especially as you get into the teen years, the best thing an athlete can learn to do is to find commonality with their teammates,” says LaBotz. “Peer groups are driven by commonalities. When there’s a person on the team who is different or who has a disability, that commonality is diminished a bit, but it’s still there. Help your athlete figure out that common ground, whether it’s being fans of the same sports team or liking the same music.”

3. Remind kids to focus on process, not outcome

Even on youth sports teams, young athletes can fall into the ‘I want to win’ trap. But that focus on an outcome—winning—is often detrimental to athletes with disabilities or less skill. “I try to teach kids early on to focus on process and progress rather than outcomes,” says Chapman. “Help young athletes understand that we're all created differently, and some people will be slower to make progress, but that doesn’t make someone better or worse. That's the developmental message that parents need to reiterate because it’s easy for young kids to mistakenly equate physical differences as being ‘bad.’”

4. Use the right words

Your kids are likely going to repeat general ideas from you, but they’ll also adopt specific phrases. So, your language needs to be impeccable, especially when discussing disability. For instance, using ‘person first’ language is important.

“Always take a person-first approach,” says Kyba. “Instead of saying 'a wheelchair athlete,' put the person first and say, 'athlete with a wheelchair.' When you're talking to your kids, always speak that way.” It may take some getting used to, depending on what you grew up saying, but this shift helps show that you see someone as a person first, rather than focusing on their disability.